Its been a few weeks

The first Sunday of every month is significant to me. Today, even more so. It marks the six-month “anniversary” since my accident. I never knew life could change so dramatically or so quickly. I’ve talked a lot about the “new normal” and “radical acceptance,” and I believe that both of these concepts have helped get me to where I am today.

I’ve worked eight shifts in the emergency department at Mayo Clinic, each less fumbly and awkward than the last. I’ve made the hour-and-a-half drive down and back to Mayo, survived nights in hotel rooms, driven independently and picked up friends on my way to dim sum, and gone to the movies. I’ve also become more comfortable with myself in a wheelchair. I still wonder if everyone is staring at me when I go into a restaurant or into the cafeteria at Mayo (or whether they’re annoyed that I’m slow in the salad line which is clearly not designed for people in wheelchairs…thank god I have go-go-gadget arms), but I care less that people might stare. Let them. I realize that seeing a guy in scrubs in a wheelchair is an anomaly. Or that watching someone hop into his wheelchair from a parking space is worth a gander. Oh well.

My time in the emergency department is particularly rewarding. When I wheel into the room, I think I’ve seen every reaction you can imagine – surprise, confusion, bewilderment, bemusement, and even relief. Each reaction looks different. But when I introduce myself as the supervising doctor, it feels pretty damn good. Sometimes I ask patients to bear with me as I figure out the mechanics of doing an examination or sewing them up, requiring an explanation that I’m new to the wheelchair. Sometimes I use wheelchair-related humor to relate to a patient or to defuse a testy situation. I’ve talked with young patients about the importance of having their parents with them on difficult medical journeys. When the patient looks at me, looks at the chair, back at me, and back at the chair I pre-empt it … “The answer to the question that you want to ask is that I fell off my mountain bike.”  “Yeah, thanks, it sucks – it was five months ago, so I’m still learning how to do something I’ve been doing for 10 years.” But it feels good, and my colleagues and our nurses and support staff have been incredibly supportive.

I’ve even been asked to talk with another physician with a recent spinal cord injury. By no means am I an expert – but it felt good to help someone navigate the system, understand some of the nuances, and identify a few things to advocate for when the time comes. We talked about aggressive goal-setting with respect to getting back to work as a physician – obviously something that motivated me over the preceding months. I remember in the first week after my injury a former patient (10 years out from injurye) stopped by my room to offer encouragement that I could resume my life, and another physician at Mayo in a wheelchair did the same on multiple occasions. And, as I’ve mentioned, I frequently text a friend I haven’t yet met who is an emergency physician with a similar injury to ask him for advice. The network and encouragement are important.

My parents head home in a week and a half. That will naturally trigger some anxiety. But I think we’ve figured out a routine. And, honestly, it’ll be nice to have a bit of alone time again. I’m pretty extroverted, but I definitely need alone time to process my thoughts and to recharge. They’ve been insanely wonderful, and I can’t imagine this process without them. We’ve reorganized my home so that everything I need is accessible to me. They’ve taken me to doctors appointments, therapy sessions, and have run every errand imaginable. To say I’m grateful doesn’t begin to describe it. But after six months of sacrifice, they too need to resume their lives and to return to the routine they’ve established at home in Illinois.

In other news, I start a new non-clinical job tomorrow. I’ll continue to work part-time clinically, as I did while I was at Medtronic. I’m excited for a new challenge at an early-stage company in an industry for which my learning curve will be quite steep. But I know that my experience as a physician, a business executive, and now as patient, will be important components of my role there. The real challenge may be continuing/resuming my fitness/strength/therapy program and integrating all of the new things I need to do in my life (and how long it takes to get ready in the morning!) into this new job.  More on that in the future …